I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
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Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
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The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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