literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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