Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize