That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize