I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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