just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize