so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
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I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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