The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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