the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Someone shit on the floor
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
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What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
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I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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