we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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