i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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