need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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