Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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