they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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