Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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