I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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