So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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