Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize