He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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