either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize