there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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