i came on her dog
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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