I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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