the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize