It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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