Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
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I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
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I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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