youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize