There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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