I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize