Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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