Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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