You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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