Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize