mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize