He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
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Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
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so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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