just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize