So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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