RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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