WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize