Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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