well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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