Acid is not a monday night drug
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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