you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you traded sex for a burrito?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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