she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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