i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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