Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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