Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
3 2 1 whiskey
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The cops high fived after they tackled you
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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