allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize