God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize