you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize